Can I Make a Depression Blog?

Posted by Castypher on March 22, 2012, 9:19 p.m.

Sure is slow on 64D.

Anyway, not jumping into some fad or anything. You may not be happy to see a guy like me joining in on something like this, especially someone who (I personally think) is rather easygoing and laid back about things. But I assure you what I have isn't nearly as bad as some other people. I've just got some things on my mind (or lack thereof) and don't get to vent much.

First of all, I've been easily irritated lately. At little things. I suppose that was a bad time to buy Dark Souls, and to start playing the DotA beta.

The good news is, I'm postponing Dark Souls. The bad news is, it's because my stupid fucking brothers broke the AV cable jack (both the cable AND the TV) in the short hours I was gone.

I also really dislike DotA 2. Despite having played League of Legends for two years, DotA's learning curve is ridiculously high, and the game feels too similar yet too different from what I'm used to. I don't like how it plays. Call me simple-minded. And if I can't even play a League of Legends normal game because of idiot players, I'm not going to look like a fool on a new game and be tormented by those too.

Regardless, I'll play it a bit more. It would really be fun if I, you know, had someone to play it with and teach me a bit.

Anyway, this whole wave of depression hit shortly after I finished that story of mine. What can I say? It was a lot of fun. It was really the most fun thing I've done in a long time, and the fact that it's over just pains me. I've tried writing another book, but it's just not the same. I have to wait until the people I've sent it to finish it before I can even go back to look at it, so I don't feel too inclined to make changes until I'm ready for them.

I actually think it was two days ago. Maybe three. I've got a buddy who I listen to and help with no complaints, whether or not I actually like his work. His game ideas? Sure I help. All the time. Even if I'm not interested, I'll make myself interested. But when I ask for a little help for myself, it's discarded. Well that sure made me feel like shit. And I think that's why I'm going through a massive decline in productivity.

It's very likely I won't finish this competition either. I've got a great base as far as functionality goes. But I lack the focus and inspiration to continue further. This was a fun idea, but in order for me to really go through with something, my heart needs to be in it and quite frankly, this competition didn't give that chance.

If I could focus, I'd be working on Terminys right now.

*sigh*

Guess I'll open up the novel and see if I can't get in the mood. Aside from that, thanks for listening. I don't vent often, so if this pissed you off, great. You'll know that. And if not, thanks for the support.

I did, however, read a very heartwarming and inspiring thing, an interview with the creator of the Mother series on the third entry. Seeing some of his thoughts behind that brilliant game made me want to steer Terminys back in that direction. The one of awkwardness, bizarreness, and comedy. Because as of right now, it's very story-based. Soon enough I'll find out what works.

Once I get a graphics designer, I'll increase the window size, too.

Comments

Taizen Chisou 12 years, 8 months ago

I certainly make it seem that way, don't I? :V

Castypher 12 years, 8 months ago

It does feel longer than six months.

Ferret 12 years, 8 months ago

):

I'm sad you tried Dota 2 before I could make my blog (sorry I've been so busy lately I haven't even been about to do something as simple as that…) but yeah, it may seem overwhelming but that is only because there are a ton of characters you have to learn and adapt to. If you think about you first matches in LoL, you'll remember how overwhelming that seemed at the time. Don't worry it gets better. I would offer to play with you, but I haven't been able to play myself for a few weeks now…

Astryl 12 years, 8 months ago

Hmm.

Quote:
August 08, 2010

Nearly two years. Such a pity I didn't join 64digits back in 2008 instead of YoYoGames. So much wasted time.

Rob 12 years, 8 months ago

What you should've done is joined back when Overmars stilled owned GM…

Astryl 12 years, 8 months ago

I didn't know the internet existed as anything beyond pitiful 24K dialup back then.

firestormx 12 years, 8 months ago

Quote:
What you should've done is joined back when Overmars stilled owned GM…
Yes, that.

Also, I've got DOTA2 beta, but haven't played yet. We should try learn together sometime. =P

Castypher 12 years, 8 months ago

Add kilin08 on Steam, FSX and send me random invites to custom bot matches.

And back when I was learning LoL, Ferret, it was much simpler. LoL didn't have denial (which, by itself, ups the difficulty a lot,especially considering the only way I can do it is by pressing A then clicking on the damn thing I want to attack. Among other things. The runes are weird. The shop is terrible to try and learn. And bots kick my ass regularly (granted, I put them on normal so I can learn realistically).

The game really needs a tutorial now, because the mechanics are very different from what I know. I still don't know how the hell the stash works or why you have to pay to teleport back or how to use the courier without pissing off your team or what the point is of the Secret Shop.

Furthermore, there's less walking around in the laning phase, and more personal sustenance. That's cool, but not being able to recall is just a big change and makes me feel like I'm missing out on something.

LAR Games 12 years, 8 months ago

I got into the DOTA 2 beta recently, and I have no Idea how to play.

Rob 12 years, 8 months ago

Quote:
I didn't know the internet existed as anything beyond pitiful 24K dialup back then.

I joined here on 56k dial-up (I got at most 40k connection though - hooray for 3kb/s downloads). Do you know how annoying it was to post/play GM games on that?