**Be warned, this blog is a shitfest of everything from the last two months of my absence**
Well, shit, It's been a while, hasn't it? Almost two months? I disappear like that sometimes. Let me catch you all up.Life and Obligatory 64Depression-Well you know, life's bullshit. You guys remember my blog titled "Tears" going over my recent relationship problem. We were technically in some kinda of relationship purgatory still, or as she called it 'a break', until I decided I couldn't take it anymore and just called it all off until we felt like we could work again.This happened around the end of September.I was having some pretty hardcore anxiety issues up until about a week or two ago. Combine anxiety, depression, and stress on a constant basis, and your mind does funky things to your body.I went through a period of thinking I was going to have a heart attack due to tightness in my chest, pains, palpitations. I even thought I had heart disease. A few weeks later I started getting twitching in my side, which then spread all over my body in a day. I did some research, which then made me think I had ALS or MS. I essentially became a hypochondriac around this point, and it was horrible, knowing that there's nothing wrong with you, but panicking because your mind is telling you to. I hate having anxiety issues, I just can't stop thinking about things. Things in the past, things now, things to come, bad things, it's BAD. I wanted to kill myself at a few points, tried at a few points, cried to sleep at a few points, and began to feel detached from the real world at a few points. I began thinking I could find a way to turn back time and change things, maybe I could salvage my sanity and not be alone, friendless, a loser with talent.Nope.I began in early September trying to deal with my sorrow by buying temporary happiness. I needed something… something that would pick me up from the floor, and so I bought game after game after game, blowing through cash like drinking water. Money does not buy happiness, only temporary relief from whatever it is that's haunting you. What'd I get? That's addressed in the next section.But now I feel a bit better. I had to force myself to not let my anxiety control me. I don't care if I live long, or die tomorrow, but I don't want to die lonely and in agony, letting my memories and mind haunt and control me. That' just a no-go.I realize I can't do this alone, and my true savior arrives November 6th.
Life. The Good Life-My room has a name now.I call it the 'Battle Station'.Here's a panorama.
Also, back in September, I got the urge to play some of those awesome PS3 exclusives. The problem was I didn't have a PS3!So I bought one, and the following games.Infamous 2Killzone 2Killzone 3: Helghast Edition
Resistance: Fall of ManResistance 2Resistance 3StarhawkSSXUncharted Dual Pack (Drake's Fortune and UC2 GOTY Edition)Uncharted 3I made the following modifications to my controller using oil-based paint markers and skillz.
The writing on the left-hand side says "Death To The ISA" in Helghan.I'm gonna be honest. I fucking love Killzone.I also got more Xbox games and Gears of War stuff.
Including the Halo Reach Limited EditionAnd Soul Calibur V Collector's EditionAs for PC games, I actually haven't gamed on my laptop for some time until recently.I bought Dishonored and got NFS SHIFT 2 Unleashed for free off Origin.The Art Life-I won't splurge a whole section to this, and instead just post pictures of stuffs I did and things.But I will say I was in a horrible art block ONCE AGAIN for a while, and in return- I apologize to Alert- if he happens to see this blog and go through it, because I had a commission to do, and was unable to deliver.Basically… I should probably get my emotions and mentality in shape before I take on requests and commissions.Anyways. I've been keeping to my silhouette style, because I quite enjoy it, and can crank out whatever happens to be in my head in under 2 hours, and I find that to be great.
And here I have some traditional work that are of really bad quality.Acrylic on Canvas
Oil Pastel-done on four separate pieces of paper and combined together… like Tetris, mang.-
Acrylic on Canvas"I Am I"Priced at $100Submitted to the "Unibrow II Art Show" in Denver. 
I'm hoping I'll win, and at the very least, be accepted into the show. First place prize is $200. Hell, maybe somebody will buy it. One thing's for sure, this is as close as you guys will get to seeing my face on 64D.Hopefully this wasn't too much shit splurged into one blog. I love this place, figured I'd let you guys know I'm very much alive for now, before I happened to end up not very much alive.Edit: New stuff
I didn't like it back in the PS2 days either, but i saw a trailer for Absolution a while back, and i was blown away.
If it's not coming out the same month of another game i'm looking forward to, i may pick it upedit: oh, it comes out november? i thought it was a 2013 release. in that case, i really just might get itWow. You guys had a lot to say since I last commented 50 minutes ago. Dishonored really impressed me. When I saw the trailers and interviews about that game, I honestly thought it was going to be overhyped and I was going to be dissapointed. How wrong I was.
I'm really looking forward to some DLC for that game.Snipers were perfectly done in KZ2 and (kinda in) KZ3. Seriously, not only are they badasses, but also they turn invisible! I know that seems cheap to some people, but the fact that snipers had scanners meant that other snipers would be able to find each other, then from there it takes a ton of the sniper focus away from the foot soldiers and on the enemy snipers, making them have their own battle over who gets to fire onto the grunts. It's brilliant! Seriously I love that, since I like the power snipers have but hate they way that everyone else dies to them, it's such a great way to take the stress off of the battlefield.
Also I was pissed they took out the sixaxis feature the sniper had in KZ2 for KZ3. It used to be that if you move your controller while sniping, the sniper would move with it, making it so that you actually had to focus and possibly "hold your breath" like you do by pressing a button in other games, but irl. Then suddenly they get rid of it in KZ3? Suddenly it feels generic :<(Sorry I could talk about KZ for hours, I'll stop)One of the games that have really interested me in getting a PS3 is Resistance Fall of Man. If I do ever get one, that's one of the first games I'm buying. Also, Little Big Planet.
@JID: So many games I wanna get, but I only got room for one more game this season, and that's Halo4. I think the next big one I'm definitely gonna get is GoW: Judgment.
@LAR: I still haven't beat it yet, just been taking my sweeeet sweeet time. Dying doesn't even faze me cause I'm just having fun exploring and stuff. People that complain about it's length are just hating and rushing it. This is a game that needs to be taken slooowwwww, you don't stick it right in and go at it. Massage it until it's done.@Ferret: Haha, that sniper feature in KZ2 was pretty awesome. I kinda wish it was in KZ3 too, but I just think they generalized the control scheme a bit to make it compete with other MP shooters and be appealing to a larger crowd. Cause unlike KZ2, a lot of people still play KZ3. I'm guessing if KZ3 played like KZ2, KZ2 would have a lot more players. But it's kinda abandoned now.@LAR: When I first started playing the first one, I thought it was just absolutely horrible. But it's just one of those games you gotta warm up to, it's really pretty awesome. I gotta beat it so I can finally move onto 2 and 3, lol.Honestly, not really that great of a series…. There is definitely better ones to choose from.
The only Resistance game I've liked was the first one, and it hasn't aged well since now it's obnoxious for games to lack colors (which I get, but I remember back then when it was "cool" d: ) and also the graphics didn't age well either. However, that game has the weapon wheel (unlike the second one) and has splitscreen coop, which really is the best thing ever with a friend. The third one has coop, but for some reason when it does splitscreen it suddenly has fog 20 meters away from you and everything looks like crap. Also, dun like the story after 1.@Eva
You're telling me, lol. I didn't kill a single person in that game, but I did put every single one to sleep.I loved every single tense second.you're tempting me to buy Dishonoured, man.
The only other game that I've really been looking forward to, that's going to come out in a few more months is Bioshock Infinite.I've been dying to get Dishonoured, but my lack of funds man… I'm just going to have to wait for the sale after thanksgiving.
Bioshock Infinite… I can't tell if I'm still excited for that or not. There's just that point where a game's hype kinda runs out after a while, especially when you spewed most of the hype two years ago.