idle thoughts

Posted by Taizen Chisou on Sept. 29, 2012, 11:55 p.m.

I tried to post this blog earlier, but nothing became of it.

The likestats page has come to upset me immensely. I've fallen off the +1 comments board entirely and have shuffled to 15th in blog likes. *sigh

(I guess it would be hard to maintain though, given I've fallen from 1 blog / 1 day to about 6 days / 1 blog.)

I had a dream recently where suddenly, for some reason, it was suddenly 2014. I think I somehow managed to throw away an entire 2 years on something (it might have been some sort of coma) and woke up one day on September 24, 2014. That dream was awful.

My dreams generally do a horribly shitty job in coherence, so the fact that that particular one did well to

1) not include people that it would be illogical to

2) not include impossible things like flying people

3) have people, like my parents, act as if yes, 2 years really did pass and everything is totally normal

made for a dream that unsettled me to my core.

Depression? What depression? Oh, yes, that depression. I seem to have misplaced it, and I've been much too busy to look around. I'll inform you if I find it.

Speaking of business, I've had to cancel all of my projects everything is effectively hiatus'd, again, because my parents enjoy revoking computer privileges. This has escalated to where we can't keep a Nintendo 3DS in our rooms at night.

Have any of you played La-Mulana for the Wii? It's 10 dollars, sure, but it's pretty great. We're 9 minutes in, out of a projected forty million.

My work hours are being cut by my parents to accommodate for an excess of studying. Three hours for every one hour of school, they say. This adds up nicely to 27 hours of study per week. I question how I'm supposed to sink 9 hours of time on the use of probability in logical arguments.

A co-worker of mine has decided to act more brash and ornery towards me- with the convenient timing of 'right after I decide to stop with the straightness pretense around him.' If I confirm this to be the case, I have it written in my planner to assault him, in the high-priority purple ink.

I've picked up Rytmik Retrobits, as well as downloaded a copy of Famitracker. I'm having a much easier time with one as opposed to the other, no points for guessing which is which.

I made a song in Retrobits after about 45 minutes of tinkering. I'm still lost when it comes to Famitracker.

Someone should please explain what the big hoo-ha is about Starbucks and it's horrendously overpriced coffee. I recently gave them a shot again and once again found my 5-ish dollars wasted on a coffee product that I had to dilute in sugar or something before drinking. That, and they misspelled my name again.

My parents are making me paranoid about my job security. My co-workers fuck up orders about as often as they say "hello" and my mom and dad's all "oh how come so many people are coming in with complaints are you screwing up all of the orders how many mistakes do you make oh it's a wonder why you're still employed"

I'm gonna go before it gets too late. It's 11:55 and I still have 8 pieces of art to write blocks of notes on before I go to bed today.

Comments

MMOnologueguy 12 years, 2 months ago

Last dream I had, for some reason I was in diplomatic talks with Iranian, Israeli, and American officials, trying to stop a war. Piers Morgan was there and managed to shout me out of the conversation Bill O'Rielly style. What the hell was I doing there? Why am I even bringing it up and talking about myself so much? Clearly I suffer from some kind of socially pathogenic unwarranted self-importance.

The computer prohibition and mandatory studying thing sucks. You could try sleeping to pass the time, or, failing that, lying in bed for hours trying to sleep. I can't comprehend how your parents actually think a 3:1 homestudy to actual school ratio is called for at all. 'T could be like the old proverb; if you kill an ant with a grenade at least you can be sure it's dead.

Totalitarian parenting can yield the desired results, but it can also radicalize the opposition. Emma Goldman and Johann Most talked about this among each other, that their anarchist politics had a lot to do with their upbringing. Maybe some arbtrary power and general injustice can instill a healthy hatred of authority, but at what cost? I guess we have the state of Utah as a monument to the way these things can go wrong.

ludamad 12 years, 2 months ago

People get Starbucks _because_ its expensive

Charlie Carlo 12 years, 2 months ago

So you work, go to highschool, and take college classes; yet your parents have the audacity to deny you entertainment. That shit sucks, man. Look at the bright side, only a few more years.

Astryl 12 years, 2 months ago

Quote:
I made a song in Retrobits after about 45 minutes of tinkering. I'm still lost when it comes to Famitracker.

You know, I was just thinking of writing a guide to help people get started with it. The newest version was just released this month. 0.4.1. Supports the Namco 106/7 chip.

Quote:

Someone should please explain what the big hoo-ha is about Starbucks and it's horrendously overpriced coffee. I recently gave them a shot again and once again found my 5-ish dollars wasted on a coffee product that I had to dilute in sugar or something before drinking. That, and they misspelled my name again.
I don't have to put up with that; there's a small privately owned 'coffee store' in town. They serve all sorts of coffee and meals to boot. Oh, and they make pizza. Best part? It's relatively cheap, and tastes good.

Quote:
This has escalated to where we can't keep a Nintendo 3DS in our rooms at night.
Your parents sound like they think that revoking entertainment will help you to focus on something. Revoking priveliges actually causes one to fixate on the removed privilege more than before.

As for weird dreams, there was this one that was very lucid that threw me off for various reasons. I was some flying creature, I was carrying somebody, and I was directed to a desert. I then left this person to die, before apparently doing so myself.

I'd read about it's potential psychological meaning, but my mind is so screwed up already I doubt it'd help if I knew what it mean't.

Taizen Chisou 12 years, 2 months ago

Quote:
People get Starbucks _because_ its expensive

Buying expensive products like Starbucks coffee fills me simultaneously with a strange feeling of importance and satisfaction and a horrible feeling of buyer's regret.

Quote:
The computer prohibition and mandatory studying thing sucks. You could try sleeping to pass the time, or, failing that, lying in bed for hours trying to sleep. I can't comprehend how your parents actually think a 3:1 homestudy to actual school ratio is called for at all. 'T could be like the old proverb; if you kill an ant with a grenade at least you can be sure it's dead.

Totalitarian parenting can yield the desired results, but it can also radicalize the opposition. Emma Goldman and Johann Most talked about this among each other, that their anarchist politics had a lot to do with their upbringing. Maybe some arbtrary power and general injustice can instill a healthy hatred of authority, but at what cost? I guess we have the state of Utah as a monument to the way these things can go wrong.

It's not so bad. I get a computer to go with most of the studying and can cut to 64d and other places now and then to regain a bit of sanity (har har har)

With that, my week is now:

15 hours high school, 9 hours college, 27 hours study time, 25 hours work, 10 hours fluff (like commute, waiting for people, shopping, etc, and yes, I do automatically spend about 2 hours a day waiting for people and classes and work)

This leaves me 8.8 hours per day to do things such as eat and sleep.

That totally makes sense. I will strive to get a job at Nintendo/Sony/Microsoft and to help develop the next child-destroying entertainment platform just to spite them.

(The Utah bit feels like something to get at Kilin or something because he's probably the only thing I associate with that state for one reason or another)

Quote:

So you work, go to highschool, and take college classes; yet your parents have the audacity to deny you entertainment. That shit sucks, man. Look at the bright side, only a few more years.

My father suggested using the 'I am 16' line as leverage to convince my professors to give me special attention. This struck me as hilarious because I can't use the 'I am 16' line on them without getting 'do you realize that you are nearly 17 and still are having problems in school what the hell'

Quote:
You know, I was just thinking of writing a guide to help people get started with it. The newest version was just released this month. 0.4.1. Supports the Namco 106/7 chip.

…Really? I didn't see such an option, and I downloaded my copy yesterday.

I've been using the Nintendo MM5 or whatever it's called.

(I still don't get how to do basic things such as instruments)

Quote:
Your parents sound like they think that revoking entertainment will help you to focus on something. Revoking priveliges actually causes one to fixate on the removed privilege more than before.
I tried telling them this, but it didn't do anything. They thought I was crazy.

JuurianChi 12 years, 2 months ago

:reads blog:

You at least know how long you have to go until you don't need to deal with any of that anymore.

If anything- create a list of things that will happen should you succeed at College, your job, etc and use that is incentive to reach these goals.

Charlie Carlo 12 years, 2 months ago

Quote:
If anything- create a list of things that will happen should you succeed at College, your job, etc and use that is incentive to reach these goals.
He and I are going to make award winning indie games.

This is totally a realistic goal and fuck you.

JuurianChi 12 years, 2 months ago

Oh, is that so? Can I join you?

That is a very neat and inspiring goal, and fuck you too.

Charlie Carlo 12 years, 2 months ago

Quote:
Can I join you?
Maybe, but it'll probably be like six years from now.

Taizen Chisou 12 years, 2 months ago

Due to the rampant closings in my area, renting out some location and pimping it the fuck out with computers isn't as unrealistic as it seems. It would just take me a few thousand dollars a month, which is unfeasible now, but will be less so in a few years.

I figure I can just rent out some office space and make games there or something, and ideally with C++ or some shit.