It is an unsurprising fact that I am a lonely, single male who, for the right woman, would upon request seriously consider lobbing off his own leg for no real reason aside from her lols. As such, I've heard much advice lately from friends to stop being my shy self and "going after what I want." So last friday I asked a girl out and I'm not sure if it went terribly wrong or if I was unfortunate in the timing.
15309Before you click that o-so tempting "Show" button, let me explain that I wrote out lots and lots of crap, sat back and thought "blaurgaflarg, this is too big and crappy." I thought maybe a few of you may want to skim the premise of it so I shoved it all in this here hide tag. I suggest you don't click it. (*watches you click it*):<
I met this girl on the second day of school, about 2 weeks ago, we were both trying to add into the same class. We talked a bit, but not much. Then later in the same day I ran into her trying to add into the same chem class as me. Again some time to talk but not much, however I saw her later that day trying to add into another chem class (after 2 weeks we both ended up not getting any of those classes). Here we got a good amount of talking done.I assumed I would see her Thursday, judging by the classes we visited. However I didn't, and was sad that day :(The next week on Thursday I saw her, but she was hanging out with her friend and I felt like she was avoiding me from what she was saying and changing where she was going, so I just kinda gave up :(Then, Friday, she seemed to want to hang out with me, we ate together, but afterward she said she had to go to the library. In my head I kept screaming at myself to ask her out, that I wouldn't be able to at the library and it's my last chance (it wasn't). However I was stupid or too scared to ask her right there and then so I just went to the library with her. Sadly she needed to go to the computer lab and I had already mentioned that I had my laptop. So I lost her and jumped onto my laptop to chat with RC and see what I should do. RC pumps me up to find her and ask her out no matter what and that is what I do. Sadly she wasn't in the library at that point, however I was lucky enough to find her at the cafeteria. I felt like this was my only chance, and I couldn't return to RC without taking it….
I think I'm going to take a mixture of Eagly's advice and Juju's conclusion. I'm not going to add her on facebook or anything, I think that might scare her. I'm just not going to do anything.
I don't think she's interested. :/
You're worry about it too much. relax. If you make a fuss over her, she'l lose interest (assuming she has any for you).
One thing I learned when I first started with women is this: they don't like wussy guys who fawn over them. Most women like funny guys, confident guys, maybe a little cocky. But not wusses who bring flowers and too many compliments.So just email her short note, saying it was fun to talk with her and that maybe you'l run into each other again. Then forget about her. If she answers back, then maybe she interested.I've had a girl I haven't seen in two years come up, poke me, talk, walk away, I requested number, she took mine instead, hugged me, disappeared, I sent her Facebook message when she didn't text, we talked, she never got back to me.
Not quite the same case, but I get the same feeling you do, where you're a bit confused as to what they really think of you."Just going for it" when it has to do with dating is honestly a bad suggestion. Usually this encourages desperation and lower degrees of stalking. Worrying a lot will get you into trouble.Leyenda is right though. Women say they like sweet, sensitive guys, but in reality that's what scares them off. This isn't true with everyone, but it makes you look girly.…Trust me, I know this from experience. Not all girls like it when guys are overly friendly. Like Leyenda said, they like funny or confident guys. Breaking your timidity means you'll need to be more outgoing with peers rather than just one person. Screwing up (and I'm not suggesting you did) because you wanted to be outgoing and didn't handle the situation right is probably worse than just staying quiet./rantConfidence is right. You need to be more confident and assertive. Had you asked her out she probably would've accepted. You just gotta be confident.
Also, women don't know what they want. Never ever ever ever get advice from a woman on how to attract another woman. They have no idea what they themselves want, so how are they going to know what others want?Imo it was probably the way she said her ambiguous excuses that would've gave away her intention, and if you're asking for advice you probably already know the answer.
I guess I could try to be more confident, it's just that I've never really been "that confident guy."
@Rawrspork: I did ask her out :\ and yeah I don't think I should ever take advise from women again.@Toast: Yeah I think I did pretty much get a no.Thanks for the feedback guys, I really appreciate hearing your thoughts :3 I'm going to crawl into a hole now.I have a girlfriend now and I what I did was just text her for like three days straight before asking her out. You can really gauge how interested in you someone is by seeing how they response and how fast they do so. If she doesn't like you back, that's just life but don't give up. Something will come eventually.
One of my friends said they hooked up because one didn't stop bothering the other o_o I don't know if that would help or not.
Oh and they've been going out for a few years now.